Even with a blizzard raging outside, we can still feel the love of loved ones near and far and the warmth of the birth of Jesus in all our hearts.

irenefk

And that’s the kicker, most of us don’t give our good health a second though until we lose it and that’s too late.

Thankfully, my husband reconized this years ago and switched our family over to the highest quality nutritional supplements available and documented in the “Comparitive Guide To Nutritional Supplements”. You see, of the top three rated nutritional supplments, only one is available to the general public and that is the USANA Health Sciences Essentials.

I had someone reply back to an email I sent out titled “Your Most Important Resource” saying that he was taking the USANA Essentials for a few years, but didn’t notice and changes in his good health, so he quit taking them! I fell sorry for him, because he doesn’t see the benefit of giving his body the advanced levels of nutrients that are contained in the USANA Essentials. The #1 reason for adding the USANA Essntials to your diet is to Protect Your Good Health!

If you are currently healthy, the USANA Essentials are the least expensive Health Insurance you’ll ever buy!

In fact, my husband (47) only goes to the doctor for regular checkups, he has no need for a doctors services any other time unless he breaks a bone or has some other structeral issue. He is expecting the USANA Essentials to prevent the degenerative dieases that many older people suffer through and that doctors can’t cure and can only manage.

For Your Optimal Health,

Genieve

But life truly changes in all aspects of what you think of life of before and after this truamatic experience. I used to hate the word “normal”, because no-thing is ever the same again. I never realized until years later, that what I was experiencing was a “new normal”, never to go back to the way things were.

One thing I recall now, is that for the first several years for, I went and I did things but they still are a blur. One of my favorite things to say is “You Do what you have to do at the time”, because life does not stop and wait for you. Your friends change, your lifestyle changes, your family changes, your marriage changes; by the way, divorce rates are really high for those that lose a child– your attitude changes, your health changes, let’s face it-You Change. At the time, I had to still be a mom, wife and me. I was told by several people, You still have to take care of the other two children, did they think that I could forget them? How rude.

Then there was those people that would come up to me and say, “I know how you feel”, I got so tired of that, that I would finally say to them, “So when did you lose a child, I’m so sorry”. Well guess what, they had not walked in my shoes at all. So you see, You become a trainer, You have to stay in contact with your friends, You have so much more to deal with to survive.

You have to learn to take care of yourself and I credit my son who was an athlete in Junior High at the time, when he came home one day and said to me, “Mom, let’s run the 10k in the rodeo parade festivites this year” of all things I said “OK”. So the next day, I started my training, I couldn’t even run a half-block without getting winded and so thought to myself, what did I get myself into. I can proudly say that was a huge beginning again for my healing of mind, body and soul. I could cry, yell and scream out in the hills in the country and it made me feel better. By the way, we both ran and we both finished, him with a medal and I also received one in my age bracket. That truly was awesome for me. I continued this for several years until health issues forced me to do other exercising.

The fear of losing again is huge. I fear the loss of another one of my children, I just fear losing again. This is something that I have just come to grips with after all of these years. I’ve had to learn to trust and believe in people again. In my best friend especially who has stood by me in dealing with feelings that were not dealt with during my grieving process.

I attended and helped plan my baby’s memorial service which was a huge service in attendance. Since he attended 20 and half days of first grade, so that was hard for his fellow students, teachers and church buddies also. I realized with the help of talking with my best friend that I had never told my son, “Good-bye”.

You know what, I found the most beautiful flower arrangement in my basement and took them to the cemetary the next day. This was such a release of bottled-up feelings and hurts for me that I can’t explain it.

Yes, life does go and it is beautiful. Yes, people do show up in your life again. Yes, I can help others again. Yes, I always carry that Love for my son with me everyday and that was 25 years ago.

The trip was over 20 miles to the hospital and they drove so slow, in my opinion, but they probably didn’t. When we got to the hospital, they came with us and my baby brother wasn’t allowed so had to be “sneaked-up” the fire escape to be able to get in to see Dad in the hospital, of which they did do.
He was lying flat on his back and I remember telling Dad, ” We are all here” and slowly a smile came on his face and then he was gone.

Reality…He was gone, He was the Head of the house, the farm, our lives, the checkbook, the decision maker. He was.

How was we going to succeed, go on, do without or just be?

First, plans for his memorial service, No car to go anywhere, neighbors had to drive up everywhere., all funds were not available as there was no will after death, none of us children knew how to drive.

Well, we knew how to drive a tractor and do some of the farming in the fields and how to milk the cows and knew how to work. like stacking hay or feed, water and care for the chickens, which were a source of income for us. We were able to buy groceries at the local grocery store in exchange for farm fresh eggs.

What was I and or we going to do now? I was counting on going to college to get away, mostly. All the rest of us children were still in grade and high school, so knew nothing about managing a farm, tilling the ground, borrowing money-(oh, and guess what the lending company called in the loan the next day after Dad was gone), cutting the wheat as it was harvest time when the accident occured.

Yes, that was ages ago, Yes, we all survived, Yes, we are all still living in the same area of about 50 miles apart. Yes, we are all survivors. Yes, we all have scars and memories. Yes, some of them are pleasant and Yes, some of them are nightmares.

Yes, we all went on, but with lots of struggles of trying to keep the farm together and eventually we all left the farm but my baby brother of which is still a farmer, but not the same one as back then. 2 of us girls married farmers and still live on a farm. I love the freedom that the farm allows me to be, feel and do.

Yes, you can go on and Be again. Yes, probably one of the best things that people said to me at that time in my life was, You know that I lost a parent when I was about your age and so you knew that if they could go through what you were going through that you could do it also. I am grateful for all of those that helped, cared and encouraged me at that time of my life. I am grateful for all of my church family as the support that they gave to me and all of us. I am grateful for all of those that helped shape my life.